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if you are reading this you are officially night crew and you have to post about night crew or you will be thrown out of night crew and rightfully harangued

pretty much all my best toots aren't even boosted and when i die they are going to be in some sort of museum probably or maybe rich people will buy them at a silent auction for an uncomfortable amount of money which indicates that they have the best taste in toots

every post i make i absolutely have the thought "man all my followers are going to just LOVE this one" and then i pound that toots button like it deposits a million dollars into my bank account

maybe if i rapid fire send all these anxious thoughts into the tootosphere my brain box will be spent and release me from the hell of not sleeping

cool that big sur moves all the buttons for closing notifications to the left side and hides them so that i can constantly open apps by mistake when i instinctively click on the right side of the notification where the close button used to be for the last forever

quibi was the last app i will ever download in my life and when i opened it there wasn't even a way to log in any more which is a perfect example of exactly why no one should download any apps ever again

related: who the hell put all these gummy bears in my bed

time to wake up randomly in the middle of another freezing upstate night and then open up scruff or whatever to creepily click on pictures of dudes that look like they'd be warmer than the rubber water bottle i sleep with

time for real life snow runner which is unfortunately more exciting than the video game version

was about to do a bit but ran out of energy mid post

drifted too far left to be able to enjoy duck tales anymore

my brand is pretty strong on both roosters AND oysters

ian boosted
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