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when mastodon finally ends the timeline suddenly goes dark then the lights come up and everyone you know is in the same auditorium clapping and congratulating you for being gay

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the *cracks a croix* that rocked the fediverse... the *cracks another croix with no plans to finish it* that brought all of mastdon to its knees.. yes a true crackageddon

*chugs some pamplemoose*

i’m guessing this is already a cory doctorow novella or something

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it’s like someone was sitting around thinking of the best ways to be disgusting and make a shit load of money and was like, “what if 2018 myanmar facebook, but it’s replaced the entire internet”

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this is specifically in reference to why you cannot use the internet for anything useful anymore, which if you haven’t thought about much then you’re probably not reading this i guess

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in case you haven’t figured it out yet the whole AI thing right now is about stealing whatever data is available on the internet, by whatever means necessary (legal or not) and in whatever format it exists in (text, image, video) to create a single product that monopolizes the way that the majority of the world communicates - and the deprecation of any functionality which is not in service of this goal is a priority in order to provide engagement metrics that prove value to investors

amendment it’d be great if they did a starboy reference but they’re pretty dope

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really wishing starbender was a brenden small cover band named starboy rn

if there’s anything you need to know in this gay life it’s never ever use “emacs” as your profile name on a hook up app

goddamn it who put all these gummy bears in the freezer

ian boosted

i had to type that because i am not going to have the pineapple pizza i want tonight which would be from windy city pizza because it is so fucking far away that it would be cold by the time i got it home to eat it and i have to settle for a digiorno detroit style square pizza which is probably the best you can do when it comes to things you buy to put in your freezer

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and both zachary’s and windy city pizza are better than any shit i ever had in chicago

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and its not as good as zachary’s of berkeley CA in terms of technical execution but its definitely better in terms of inspiration and satisfaction

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north of the canal here is windy city pizza which makes both chicago style and a remixed sourdough based version of the chicago pie and they prominently feature malort on their menu and advertising

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i have conducted extensive hands on research into the subject of chicago style pizza and determined that it is something best enjoyed outside of chicago because literally no one i have ever met that has lived in chicago for any period of time has ever liked it enough to do anything other than say something like “yeah you can get it at unos or duos or something… and yeah illuminati also makes that i think”

RECOMMENDED / NO TOUCHING OR HOLDING OF SLOTHS

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