ah yes, if you’re inquiring about the primary object mover for the household, then that would be me, i’m the one moving most of the objects around these parts

ian boosted

"Aye, the sirens," says the lighthouse keeper, picking a bit of tobacco from his beard. "Some nights, when the wind is just so, I swear I can hear 'em singing." "What do they sing?" I prod him. A faraway look in his eyes, he says in a voice barely above a whisper, "Tubthumping."

i didn’t know i could simmer, until i found out about accusimmer

a hot bear from UPS totally eclipsed my front door window today picking up a package from my porch which is way better than anything else i could imagine happening today

ian boosted

like the diehard believers are already smugly saying "if chemtrails aren't real why is there a bill in Tennessee?" but it's short sighted because soon I am going to ask them "why did you think a dumb little law would stop us from dusting you with homosexual aluminum geoengineering particles?"

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thirty years of programming and i’m still miserable

life is pretty simple for me, i just play the objective

i’m on a flight to fucking las vegas

fuck me

LISTEN. GOOGLE. HOW TO METAL CAGE PROTECT AGAINST CAR AND BING NOT BING NO BIKE

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gogle is bike lane safer for walking than side walk cross walk

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ok goggle how to stop getting run over by bikes wtf

constantly getting upset over how i am almost run over by bikes every day but thinking about getting one anyway

don’t worry we’ll tear it all down eventually and then we can finally be free to do as many drugs as we want while we bonk to the chainsmokers

seriously, how many PBs do i gotta spark until i've hadooped my data into the big leagues?

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