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As far back as can be remembered, my family has maintained a strong tradition known as "Hate yourself. Get up at 5AM to get ready for the day. Drink too much coffee to compensate for your masochistic
morning ritual."

@friskywhiskers There seems to be some sort of etiquette concerning hiding images and stuff like that on here; is that something that happens automatically to posts, or do you need to use markup

@ian I'm using this Android Mastadon application to toot, but it's not all that great at pushing me notifications

TheBeeBoss boosted

@shoelessone hey i was just telling leigh that i changed the toot button to post and i realized that even though i did that u still dont use it

The kimchee has run out. What's a poor boy to do?

TheBeeBoss boosted

Q: How many times have you factory-reset your phone due to forgotten swipe passwords?

A: Well, I mean, not that many. It's definitely less than five.

TheBeeBoss boosted
TheBeeBoss boosted

was trying to ult but i'm too squishy @friskywhiskers @eigh @BeeBoss 🚢

TheBeeBoss boosted

the year we started playing sobriety games because political drinking games got too out of hand

🧠: "Hey get up it's time to get up! Today will be a wonderful day!"
🧙‍: "It's 4:45. I was up past midnight."
🧠: "Oh that's silly; you're silly! It's time to get up!"
🧙‍: "I'm not getting out of bed, fuck off."
🧠: "I just cranked your metabolism and cortisol levels. Embrace the day or get all sweaty and restless. Your choice!"
🧙‍: 💦💦💦
🧙‍: "Jesus fucking christ fuck it all fuck me goddamnit fuck"
🧙‍: 🍳☕

@friskywhiskers maybe I'm a bit behind the curve in linking this, but I don't care. Please click:

@shoelessone @friskywhiskers honestly eating lunch before a night out is a good call any time every time. The following happens to me sometimes and it's not great:

1. Forget breakfast
2. Too busy for lunch
3. Go out, drink a beer
7. Flash drunk on empty stomach
11. Oh look at this dumb food I ordered it's stupid I would have never orderdded this sthing somber!11!

@kevin well I'd change it but I feel I'm sorta locked into this username oh wait I meant @shoelessone like that makes any sort of goddamn sense at all

@friskywhiskers @shoelessone y'all are tooting loud and proud right now it's awesome